Sunday, February 6, 2011

Kitchen Conversations

Dialogue that should never make it into a screenplay or play--but is totally worthy of being written.

INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT

Four twenty-something dudes sit around a small table, grabbing handfulls of monkey bread as they talk. Two girls sit on their respective boyfriends' laps. A couple empty bottles line up like soldiers.

BRYON.    Dude, what if they evolved?
KYLE.       They can't evolve that quick.
NATE.        I don't know, I think they can.
BRYON.    Yeah, I mean, how would they know how to get the cheese and not get killed by the trap?
MATT.      Luck. Mouse traps have been around for a while. They gotta be doing something right.
BRYON.   Exactly, they've been around long enough that they evolved to know how to get by them.
MATT.     That's bullshit. You can't evolve that quickly or to man-made objects.
NATE.      Yes, you can.
MATT.     No, you can't! That's like a baby being born and instinctively knowing how to use the computer. Like, an infant just crawling up and typing away.
KYLE.     What if that actually did happen? Babies evolving to know how to use computers.
MATT.    Kids would start getting sexualized a lot earlier.
NATE.     Yeah, you'd have to kick the parental settings up a notch.
MATT.     I learned way too much way too early from the Internet.
KYLE.     That explains a lot.
BRYON.  Still, I think they evolved.
KATE.     I think you guys just need to clean your damn kitchen.
LIZ.          Or get better mouse traps.
(Beat.)
GUYS.     Nah.


Evolution.

4 comments:

hmescon said...

I like this! could totally be worthy of making into a script - what was this from?

Cate Hahneman said...

I like it too. Only because the girl has the punchline. Haha. I imagine this happened very late Saturday night.

Matt Rickett said...

Haha Cate got it right.

Evan said...

Haha, very entertaining. Would have loved to witness that conversation. I'm curious though as to why you don't think it is script worthy. I could see a lot of character development taking place during this conversation if it was properly manipulated or was in an appropriate script.
Maybe something like this would even fit into Gatorland, a simple scene where not much is happening (maybe centered around a bong), but in which we get a solid insight into the minds of your characters, while still providing a bit of comic relief.
So what is it that makes this unworthy?
Thanks for the laugh Matt,
Evan